So, trying to write my first book has not been easy. I knew the mechanics of it would be difficult & a ton to learn. But I had no idea it would open a hole of insecurity and have me questioning everything. “Is this idea even good? Can you actually accomplish 80,000-100,00 words? And if you do, will they be good? Will anyone really want to read it?” The doubt comes in and I feel like the enormity of what I am trying to do is going to drown me.
Even with all that doubt, there is a NEED to at least try to write this book. There is the fact that my main character Evangeline won’t stop talking to me. Not to mention the ache I have for stories. I crave them and love to get wrapped up in them. Lately, I have been slightly frustrated with what I have been reading. Overall they are great, but not exactly scratching that craving & ache. This is a HUGE reason why I want to finish Enigma. I want it to be the book I am aching to read.
Right before Thanksgiving some co-workers and I were watching “The Avengers” during lunch. One of my co-workers had not seen it yet. (Shocking right?!?) It was the moment during the battle when it looked like the Avengers were not going to be able to fight off the thousands of alien creatures who kept pouring through the portal. She looked at me freaking out and asked, “What is going to happen?” Loving that I could witness her anxiety at this crossroads in the story, I said in my best dramatic voice. “This is moment when all hope is lost!!!” She smirked, shook her head and said “Book nerd!” I laughed but it made me think about where I was in this writing process. I really feel like I am at the moment where I feel “All hope is lost.”
It’s a crossroads, I could quit and just let the doubts lull me into being ok with not finishing. It would be less of a risk and not hurt as bad as failure. But if I just muster through the doubts and the insecurities I could PREVAIL. (Haha, yeah, I am a bit dramatic.) I could accomplish one of the biggest goals of my life. It won’t be easy, it won’t be fast and painless. But I WILL GET IT DONE. One day at a time. This is my first try at a nove, I work full-time and have three amazing kids. So I need to give myself a break and realize it will take a lot longer than expected. But if I write a bit everyday, I will get there. I will finish Enigma.
Since my novel is about Muses, I find I recognize & acknowledge the things that inspire me. I love to share those things, kind of like a muse would. I have been inspired by someone else’s talent and I share that with others to be inspired. It’s all a big inspirational love fest. Haha!
Recognizing how discouraged I was at how difficult it is to write a book. Not to mention that desire to do it well, creatively & in an original way. This video inspired me to keep at it. Walk off the earth gained a lot of attention doing covers of songs. Not all to different from most musicians on Youtube. But these guys never do it the easy way. This is a cover of Royals by Lorde and they probably did it the most complicated way you could possible do it. If they can do an amazing cover with forks and a didgeridoo, I can write a book. It’s brilliant!
I know I am not the only one who gets discouraged. Let me know your tricks to getting you back on track.